There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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