your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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