I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
