New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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