We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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