pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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