call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
