is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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