please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
