Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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