So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
