im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
