Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
