you guys were way drunker than both of me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
