I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize