We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
