this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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