I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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