I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
