she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so let's talk penis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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