Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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