I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
