Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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