Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
