Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
