Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
