no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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