Christians are straight up FREAKS
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
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Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
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He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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