I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
