I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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