just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
