i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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