I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
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small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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