you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
