Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
