I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
