btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My liver is preforming stress tests.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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