Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize