Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
