Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Mom said you looked used
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
