I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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