even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
