The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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