Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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