Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
