how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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