haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Randomize
