Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
