How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
