why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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