I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
