we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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