who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
