the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
These tits shall not be calmed
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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