i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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