I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
