I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
