my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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